How a Psychologist Can Help Your Child (and You!) with Therapeutic Assessment

Hello Warrior Parents!!! 👋  As a parent, it can sometimes feel like you're navigating a maze of emotions, behaviors, and milestones as you try to understand your child. Is their moodiness just a phase? Are they struggling with something more? When is it time to get professional help? One valuable tool in a psychologist’s toolkit that you might not have heard of yet is therapeutic assessment. It’s a game-changer, and here’s why.

What is Therapeutic Assessment Anyway? First, let’s break it down. A therapeutic assessment isn’t your typical, cold, “diagnostic-only” psychological evaluation. It’s a unique approach that’s as much about helping you understand your child as it is about offering guidance, support, and clarity for everyone involved. It’s not just about “testing” your child, it’s about a partnership where you, your child, and the psychologist work together to unpack what’s going on in a way that is healing and validating! 

So, what exactly happens during a therapeutic assessment?

Here’s how it typically works:

1. A Safe, Welcoming Space for Your Child: Your child will meet with the psychologist in a supportive and non-threatening environment, one where they can feel comfortable enough to open up. The psychologist will use a variety of techniques—everything from interviews and questionnaires to fun, interactive activities (especially for younger kids) to get a well-rounded understanding of what’s going on with your child. Don’t worry; it’s not like sitting in a sterile, boring office all day. It’s a lot more engaging and warm than that!

2. The Magic of Collaboration: Therapeutic assessment isn’t about a “test” your child has to pass. It’s about working together. The psychologist will collaborate with you, as the parent, to hear your perspective—your observations, your concerns, and your hopes for your child’s future. It’s a team effort! This makes it different from traditional assessments where the professional might work in isolation. You’re not in the dark, and you’ll never feel like decisions are being made without your input.

3. Getting to the Heart of the Matter: Once your child has had time to interact with the psychologist, the real fun begins: the feedback session! Here’s where things get really interesting. Instead of just handing you a cold, clinical report, the psychologist will sit down with you and explain everything they’ve observed. You’ll get a full breakdown of what’s been happening emotionally, socially, and psychologically with your child. They’ll help you understand what’s behind any challenging behavior, and you’ll walk away with a clear sense of why your child is acting the way they are.

But wait, there's more! The psychologist won’t just stop at explaining what’s going on—they’ll also offer practical strategies for helping your child move forward. Maybe your kid is struggling with anxiety, dealing with a learning challenge, or finding it hard to make friends. Whatever the case, you’ll get actionable advice on how to support them through the process. Think of it as a roadmap for your child’s emotional and mental health.

4. It’s About Growth, Not Labels: Now, here’s the key difference between therapeutic assessment and other types of psychological evaluations: it’s strength-based. That means the psychologist isn’t just looking for deficits or problems, but also your child’s strengths and how those can be used to overcome challenges. It’s a lot like finding the hidden gems that make your child unique—and helping them shine brighter in their own way.

5. You Get Support Too! Therapeutic assessment isn’t just for your child—it’s for YOU, too. Parenting isn’t easy, and it’s tough when you feel like you don’t know what’s going on with your kid. Maybe your child’s behavior is making you feel frustrated or unsure of how to help them. The feedback and guidance from a therapeutic assessment can give you the clarity and confidence to move forward with a game plan. Plus, it’s a great way for you to understand your child’s perspective, which makes supporting them in the long run easier and more effective.

How Does This Help in Real Life? 
Imagine this: Your child has been struggling in school. They’re having a hard time focusing, getting anxious during tests, or maybe just feeling disconnected from their peers. It’s not something you’re sure how to handle, and it’s starting to feel overwhelming. You’re wondering, “Is this just part of growing up, or is there something more serious going on?”

This is where therapeutic assessment comes in. After a few sessions, you’ll walk away with a comprehensive understanding of what’s causing the struggles. Maybe it’s a learning difficulty, anxiety, or even a social skill gap. The psychologist doesn’t just leave you with a diagnosis—they’ll give you tools to support your child: strategies to reduce stress, ways to enhance their self-confidence, and a clearer path toward helping them succeed.

By the end of the process, you’ll have a detailed picture of your child’s strengths, challenges, and needs—and that picture will guide the next steps in therapy or interventions. The goal is not to label your child but to give them and you the insight and resources needed to thrive.

Why Should You Consider Therapeutic Assessment? 
Well, for one, it’s a great way to better understand your child, especially if they’re going through something difficult that’s hard to pin down. Whether it’s school struggles, behavioral changes, or emotional ups and downs, a therapeutic assessment can be a key to understanding the “why” behind the surface behaviors.

Also, it offers a holistic approach—it’s not just about checking boxes or diagnosing. It’s about the relationship between you, your child, and the psychologist working together to create a path forward that’s uniquely tailored to your child’s needs.

In a Nutshell…A therapeutic assessment is a fantastic opportunity for parents to gain a deeper understanding of their child’s emotional and mental world. It’s not about labels- it’s about providing insights, strengthening relationships, and setting the stage for growth. And for your child, it’s an empowering process that helps them build self-awareness, confidence, and coping skills that will serve them for years to come.

If you’re feeling uncertain or overwhelmed by your child’s behavior or emotional struggles, therapeutic assessment could be just what you need to move forward with clarity and confidence. Please be aware - MOST assessment places do NOT do therapeutic assessment. It is a specialized approach that takes years of specialized training.  Dr. Kelsey was trained at the University of North Texas which was ranked #3 in the country for PhD in counseling psychology at the time of her admission in an 8 person class.  She is also a certified school psychologist who knows about SLD, ASD, OHI, and other school acronyms for IEPs!

If you think a therapeutic assessment might be right for your child, KML Psychological Services specializes in this method and Dr. Kelsey trains nationally on this unique approach.  Together, you can start the journey to better understanding, healing, and growth.

1. Master Active Recall and Spaced Repetition

• Active Recall: Instead of passively reviewing notes, test yourself or have someone else quiz you on key concepts. This helps you identify what you actually know and don't know AND strengthens memory for better retention.
• Spaced Repetition: Use a study app or a simple study schedule to review material at increasing intervals. This is called "chunking" and is evidence-based.  This method significantly boosts long-term retention and ensures you're regularly revisiting important content. DO NOT CRAM! It doesn't work!
• Stop studying the things you already know: We often are drawn to the stuff we already know and get better and better at that. We need to instead focus on the stuff we don't know.  It sounds obvious but trust me, you prob keep returning to the items you already know instead of spending time on information you don't understand.  Focus on that instead.
• are you struggling with memory? If so check out our KML Brain Clinic to help you!

2. Create a Focused Study Schedule

• Plan Ahead: Break your study material into bite-sized chunks and allocate specific time slots for each subject or topic. Stick to a timetable and avoid last-minute cramming.
• Prioritize: Focus on subjects or topics where you're weakest, but don't neglect areas where you feel confident. Balance is key—don’t overemphasize one subject and neglect others.

3. Practice with Past Exams & Sample Questions

• Simulate Test Conditions: Go through past exams or sample questions to familiarize yourself with the format and types of questions you may face. Time yourself while doing practice exams to build stamina and improve time management.
• Identify Patterns: Many exams have recurring themes or frequently tested topics. Identify these and make sure you're well-prepared for them.

4. Take Care of the Basics FIRST! Nutrition and Sleep are Key to Exam Success.

• Sleep Well: Never underestimate the power of adequate sleep. Your brain consolidates memories and strengthens learning during deep sleep, so aim for 7-9 hours each night, especially before exam days. DO NOT PULL 'ALL-NIGHTERS!' It's an 'illusion' of studying and you are better off actually sleeping.
• Eat and Hydrate: Balanced nutrition (like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins) and staying hydrated will keep your brain sharp and focused. Avoid excessive caffeine or carb-only food, which can make you jittery or crash.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with fun foods and I actually encourage them!  The key is balance and moderation to get key performance from your brain and keep steady energy levels.

5. Stay Calm, Confident, and Positive

• Visualize Success: Spend a few moments each day visualizing yourself succeeding in your exams. A positive mindset helps reduce anxiety and boosts performance.  Visualization is actually evidence-based on fMRI that your brain processes it in the same way as actually engaging in the activity in real life - it actually works!
• Stress Management: If you get into that exam and panic you will feel you know nothing and your frontal lobe will go 'offline!'  The key is activating your zone of tolerance and disengaging your fight or flight system.  You can do this with a simple set of five deep breaths using the 4-7-8 method.  Key here is a longer breath out than in, and breathing from your belly versus your anxious chest.  Some helpful self-talk like saying "you know more than you think you do" and "this exam does not determine your entire future" is helpful for getting that frontal lobe back online so you can access everything you learned and know. 

By combining strategic study techniques, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and keeping a positive mindset, you'll be well-equipped to crush your finals! You've got this! 💪



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I spoke with Cosmo about breakups and erasing memories - here's the longer convo you didn't get to hear :) 

How important are memories of past relationships?
Even though memories can be difficult and challenging for us when they are not seemingly positive in nature, we need to remember that we have a memory for a reason and that it is protective for us and promotes survival. Negative memories feel hard of course, and to 'erase' them might in the moment seem easier because we wouldn't have to deal with or cope with the emotions that accompany them. However, they are also protective for us, as they help us learn from the challenges of the past and learning is protective in nature so that we do not keep repeating the same patterns over and over again. From an evolutionary perspective, negative memories are actually even more important and protective for us than are positive memories. So to erase those would likely be more dangerous and prime us for more negative things to happen in the future. This doesn't mean we have to just allow ourselves to continuously live in the negative and scary memories of the past, as we need to learn how to cope with them and contain them in a way that allows us to reflect on the negative of the past as a way to build us up for the future.

How do past relationships help us build our expectations and goals for future ones?
It is important to remember that we cannot change what happens to us in the world as we are not in control of others and the unknown; however, we are in control of ourselves and the way we react and respond to the things around us. This is called cognitive appraisal, and essentially how we respond to the things around us is largely based on whether we look at the things around us as threats or challenges. If we appraise a situation as us being capable and realizing we can shift our thinking and be more realistic in the way we are speaking to ourselves. It is also important that we incorporate mindfulness into our day and recognize that we are capable of moving forward and learning from our past experiences in our to create a better outcome for ourselves in the future. That allows us to stop repeating cycles that are harmful and start building positive momentum in our lives.

The holiday season can be particularly challenging for individuals managing an eating disorder (ED) due to the emphasis on food, family gatherings, and social pressures. If you're dealing with an eating disorder, maintaining your well-being during this time requires extra care, self-compassion, and mindful strategies. Here are some helpful tips to navigate the holidays while managing an eating disorder:
1. Set Boundaries Around Food and Social Situations

• Communicate your needs: If you're comfortable, talk to close family or friends about your struggles so they can support you. You don’t have to go into detail, but simply sharing that you need help can make a big difference.
• Plan your meals: If you’re attending a holiday gathering, try to plan your meals in advance to reduce anxiety. Consider bringing a dish that you feel comfortable with or ask the host about the menu beforehand.  For many - this is the time of year they go back to a specific meal plan even when in recovery for a long time. That's okay! It's still recovery!
• Avoid social comparisons: Social media, family, and friends can often create unrealistic food expectations. Focus on your own journey and try not to compare yourself to others at the dinner table.

2. Practice Mindful Eating

• Slow down: Focus on eating slowly and mindfully. Pay attention to how the food tastes, smells, and feels in your body. This helps you be more in tune with your hunger and fullness cues.
• Listen to your body: Trust your body’s signals of hunger and fullness. It may be helpful to remind yourself that it’s okay to eat when you're hungry, even during the holidays, and that food is not something to fear or feel guilt about.

3. Don’t Overcommit to Events

• Limit social pressure: It’s okay to decline invitations or take breaks from gatherings if they feel overwhelming. Prioritize your mental health over social obligations.
• Give yourself permission to leave early: If you're feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed, it’s perfectly okay to excuse yourself from a situation. Set a time limit for yourself in advance if you anticipate being stressed.

4. Focus on Non-Food Traditions

• Create new traditions: Shift the focus from food to other activities that bring you joy—like holiday walks, board games, or watching festive movies with loved ones. Doing something that nurtures your mental and emotional well-being is key.
• Engage in self-care: Set aside time for self-care activities during the holidays, such as journaling, yoga, reading, or engaging in creative hobbies that help you relax.

5. Have a Support System in Place

• Talk to a therapist or counselor: If you’re seeing a therapist, try to schedule sessions during the holidays to help manage any emotional stress that may arise.
• Call someone for support: If you feel overwhelmed, it can be helpful to have a trusted person to talk to, whether it’s a friend, family member, or someone in your support network.
• Create a “grounding” routine: Have a mental or physical routine in place for when things feel intense—this could be breathing exercises, a grounding meditation, or a quick walk outside.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

• Forgive yourself for slip-ups: The holidays can bring up complex emotions, and it’s okay to not be perfect. If you have moments where you feel you’ve "overdone it," practice self-compassion. Guilt and shame can only fuel negative behaviors.
• Avoid all-or-nothing thinking: Try to let go of the belief that if you "mess up" once, it means the entire holiday is ruined. Eating "perfectly" is not the goal; balance and self-care are.

7. Focus on Enjoying the Moment

• Shift focus away from food: While food is often central to celebrations, try to shift the focus to other aspects of the holiday season, like the joy of being with loved ones or the beauty of the season.
• Focus on connection: Make efforts to connect emotionally with others—share stories, laughter, and experiences instead of focusing on the food or how much you’re eating.

8. Have a “Plan B” for Stressful Moments

• Anticipate challenges: Identify potential triggers or stressors in advance and come up with a "Plan B" for managing them. For example, if you feel anxiety around a certain event, you might prepare by planning a self-care activity afterward.
• Coping strategies: Have specific tools in your toolkit for dealing with stress, such as deep breathing, distraction techniques, or writing in a journal.

9. Limit Alcohol Consumption

• Be mindful of alcohol: Alcohol can lower inhibitions and increase the likelihood of disordered eating behaviors or emotional overwhelm. Keep in mind that moderation is key, and it’s okay to opt out of drinking if it feels triggering for you.

10. Honor Your Feelings

• Acknowledge emotions: The holidays can bring up a range of emotions, including sadness, grief, or anxiety. If you’re feeling upset, allow yourself to feel and process those emotions instead of suppressing them with food or behaviors tied to your eating disorder.
• Journal your feelings: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to process any emotional difficulties that arise during the holiday season.

11. Avoid Food Talk

• Limit discussions about body or food: In some settings, conversations about weight loss, dieting, or appearance can trigger anxiety. If these topics arise, it’s okay to change the subject or excuse yourself from the conversation.

Final Thoughts: The holidays don’t have to be a source of stress or shame around food, even if you’re managing an eating disorder. The key is to prioritize your mental and emotional health while allowing yourself the space to enjoy the season in ways that feel safe and nourishing. By setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and staying connected to your support system, you can navigate the holidays with greater ease and self-respect.  If you need further support, please contact our team and the National Alliance for Eating Disorders is an excellent resource for free support groups!