eating disorders and the holidays

The holiday season can be particularly challenging for individuals managing an eating disorder (ED) due to the emphasis on food, family gatherings, and social pressures. If you're dealing with an eating disorder, maintaining your well-being during this time requires extra care, self-compassion, and mindful strategies. Here are some helpful tips to navigate the holidays while managing an eating disorder:
1. Set Boundaries Around Food and Social Situations

• Communicate your needs: If you're comfortable, talk to close family or friends about your struggles so they can support you. You don’t have to go into detail, but simply sharing that you need help can make a big difference.
• Plan your meals: If you’re attending a holiday gathering, try to plan your meals in advance to reduce anxiety. Consider bringing a dish that you feel comfortable with or ask the host about the menu beforehand.  For many - this is the time of year they go back to a specific meal plan even when in recovery for a long time. That's okay! It's still recovery!
• Avoid social comparisons: Social media, family, and friends can often create unrealistic food expectations. Focus on your own journey and try not to compare yourself to others at the dinner table.

2. Practice Mindful Eating

• Slow down: Focus on eating slowly and mindfully. Pay attention to how the food tastes, smells, and feels in your body. This helps you be more in tune with your hunger and fullness cues.
• Listen to your body: Trust your body’s signals of hunger and fullness. It may be helpful to remind yourself that it’s okay to eat when you're hungry, even during the holidays, and that food is not something to fear or feel guilt about.

3. Don’t Overcommit to Events

• Limit social pressure: It’s okay to decline invitations or take breaks from gatherings if they feel overwhelming. Prioritize your mental health over social obligations.
• Give yourself permission to leave early: If you're feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed, it’s perfectly okay to excuse yourself from a situation. Set a time limit for yourself in advance if you anticipate being stressed.

4. Focus on Non-Food Traditions

• Create new traditions: Shift the focus from food to other activities that bring you joy—like holiday walks, board games, or watching festive movies with loved ones. Doing something that nurtures your mental and emotional well-being is key.
• Engage in self-care: Set aside time for self-care activities during the holidays, such as journaling, yoga, reading, or engaging in creative hobbies that help you relax.

5. Have a Support System in Place

• Talk to a therapist or counselor: If you’re seeing a therapist, try to schedule sessions during the holidays to help manage any emotional stress that may arise.
• Call someone for support: If you feel overwhelmed, it can be helpful to have a trusted person to talk to, whether it’s a friend, family member, or someone in your support network.
• Create a “grounding” routine: Have a mental or physical routine in place for when things feel intense—this could be breathing exercises, a grounding meditation, or a quick walk outside.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

• Forgive yourself for slip-ups: The holidays can bring up complex emotions, and it’s okay to not be perfect. If you have moments where you feel you’ve "overdone it," practice self-compassion. Guilt and shame can only fuel negative behaviors.
• Avoid all-or-nothing thinking: Try to let go of the belief that if you "mess up" once, it means the entire holiday is ruined. Eating "perfectly" is not the goal; balance and self-care are.

7. Focus on Enjoying the Moment

• Shift focus away from food: While food is often central to celebrations, try to shift the focus to other aspects of the holiday season, like the joy of being with loved ones or the beauty of the season.
• Focus on connection: Make efforts to connect emotionally with others—share stories, laughter, and experiences instead of focusing on the food or how much you’re eating.

8. Have a “Plan B” for Stressful Moments

• Anticipate challenges: Identify potential triggers or stressors in advance and come up with a "Plan B" for managing them. For example, if you feel anxiety around a certain event, you might prepare by planning a self-care activity afterward.
• Coping strategies: Have specific tools in your toolkit for dealing with stress, such as deep breathing, distraction techniques, or writing in a journal.

9. Limit Alcohol Consumption

• Be mindful of alcohol: Alcohol can lower inhibitions and increase the likelihood of disordered eating behaviors or emotional overwhelm. Keep in mind that moderation is key, and it’s okay to opt out of drinking if it feels triggering for you.

10. Honor Your Feelings

• Acknowledge emotions: The holidays can bring up a range of emotions, including sadness, grief, or anxiety. If you’re feeling upset, allow yourself to feel and process those emotions instead of suppressing them with food or behaviors tied to your eating disorder.
• Journal your feelings: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to process any emotional difficulties that arise during the holiday season.

11. Avoid Food Talk

• Limit discussions about body or food: In some settings, conversations about weight loss, dieting, or appearance can trigger anxiety. If these topics arise, it’s okay to change the subject or excuse yourself from the conversation.

Final Thoughts: The holidays don’t have to be a source of stress or shame around food, even if you’re managing an eating disorder. The key is to prioritize your mental and emotional health while allowing yourself the space to enjoy the season in ways that feel safe and nourishing. By setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and staying connected to your support system, you can navigate the holidays with greater ease and self-respect.  If you need further support, please contact our team and the National Alliance for Eating Disorders is an excellent resource for free support groups!